Falling Behind

Okay, I have to admit, keeping up with myself has been overwhelming. Here I am with this new idea and website, all based on my personal artistic frequency. It’s July 16th and I’ve just started the inspirational step for July 12th’s creative prompt. How can I learn to keep up better? Why have I set my expectations so high?

If it was the first time I did this, I’d be surprised. Not just set myself up with impossible feats, but fall behind. I think I just like to make sure I can’t procrastinate. There is a natural flow to my goals. I think so much, want to do everything and want to be the best. I love my art. I love my mind. I love how I hold myself responsible. And then I get stressed out.

The only way for me to motivate is knowing I still have things left to accomplish. I look forward to the next day, the next project. I’m excited to see what will happen if I keep going. I never want to give up or give in. Missing a day at school or missing a birthday party makes me angry. Would it have been different if I was there? How will I know what happened if I don’t attend? All these questions have no answers. So I learned to say yes to everything. Even the impossible. When I couldn’t find a purpose, I created one.

I like to fixate on momentum. I like to carry more than I can hold, I like to push myself through a forest full of trees. I take the path I create. There is always a way. My way. Even if I can’t keep up, even when I fall behind I keep moving forward. That’s my secret to persistence. My want for the unknown and accepting my personal defeat as a slap on the back of my head.