Sometimes it’s difficult to picture what the future will be. It’s important to find a way to stay focused. Feelings can get bottled up and never released, because it’s easy to hold everything in, like holding our breath for a long time. Eventually we can no longer breathe. Creating new pieces of artwork from start to finish fulfills my need to keep going. Art lets me escape into another realm of being, a way to altar my state of mind. There are no limits to creativity, it’s full of endless possibilities. As an artist, I’ve discovered I was able to work through anything, turning my negative thoughts into an accomplishment. And along the way I’ve been able to practice and get better every day. I’d love for you to join me on a journey to positivity.

My name is A. Mess. My secret to positivity is to stay creative and keep active. AM FREQUENCY started as a personal mission. For me to focus on something more than just myself. Then immediately transitioned into a larger concept. For the purpose of helping others like me help themselves. My initials are AM and I happen to love listening to the radio while watching the sunrise. The word frequency describes my creative current. The AM FREQUENCY is tracking me, the beat of my art. I AM the FREQUENCY. I use a prompt calendar to track my past behavior, keep track of my present projects and have something to look forward to. It’s my way of finding inspiration in everything around me. It’s my motivational drive to keep moving and keep trying. My grand plan is to never give up and force myself to persevere for the sake of being alive. I have the choice to do or not, I prefer to do.

Even after hitting the floor, banging my head against the wall, crying out loud for help, hating my own failures and mistakes, I still couldn’t accept my imperfections. I’d always wind up in a ball hiding in my closet covered in snot tissues. I looked for someone and found only myself. I searched for something to keep me sane, something to help myself get through all the hard times. My solution, I learned to wear every hat. I became a landscaper, a chef, a builder, a house cleaner, a plumber. I was repairing drawers and re-hanging doors. I was taking apart washing machines. I even played nurse to my dog who was near complete liver failure, twice in one year. I discovered a lot of me was capable of way more than I thought. I became a photographer and model for my own products, began promoting myself on-line. Everything I got done was another assignment. Another test. Getting an A+ was no longer the focus. I was grabbing the task and trying. Succeed or not, I was up for a challenge. It was about finding new habits to pursue. Anything. Because at the end of each day, what I really wanted to do, I could.

So I set out to finally start living as an artist. I became a muralist, completed three full rooms with a beach mural. I tackled portraiture and sold one immediately. I took a larger step aiming at my goal with a simple Sunday routine. Get up, gather my gut and supplies, and push toward my impossible. I began taking my easel out in public. Left my anxiety in the closet to overcome my obstacles. I found I was able to paint with an audience. And I liked it. Strangers would stop to watch, some even called me a real artist. Once a week progressed into a daily need.

My heart led me to develop the AM FREQUENCY motivational system. A special prompt calendar. Each new prompt took me on a unique journey. Each phrase or new song to choose from was interesting. My mind would constantly feel challenged. I loved discovering and absorbing all the information I could associated with the prompt. Sometimes it was a day or two before it all sank in. Then I’d formulate a general concept to complete my new found mission. Something was eventually accomplished, inspired by only a few words.

As an artist who works in many mediums, my focus jumps from crafts to chores, and that’s the way I like to function. I draw, I build, I paint, I cook, I clean. I get things done. When I leave my supplies in the cabinet, my bad mood rises up and attempts to take me back down again. Being inspired, motivating through negativity, and persevering until each prompt is finished soon became “my healthy.” Struggling with anxiety, PTSD, horrible hive outbreaks, food allergies, and undiagnosed illnesses didn’t have to control me.

Day to day life is a set of assignments, tests, and home work. Between the conflict of making money and dinner there is very little time to dedicate to brain and heart health. We can exercise our mind with entertainment, creativity, and connection. Art and creativity have the power to add light during a dark time. It’s easy to get lost in the dark, much easier if we hold hands and walk together. The calendar contains prompts that are meant for anyone who wants to stimulate motivation and generate the urge to learn something new.

Using the AM FREQUENCY inspirational prompt calendar, we can relate to each other with daily creativity. We can help each other and help ourselves live another day. We can all connect in a special way and heal from our heads down. Let’s build a positive, lifelong bond.